The last article discussed the genesis and purpose of the Puzzle Principle. In this article, I provide a deeper explanation of the concept of Puzzle Principal. Many people assume that becoming one will happen with no or very little effort on the part of the man and woman preparing to enter marriage. Couples expect to become one immediately after the wedding vows and without any effort on their part, this does not happen. As a result, couples find themselves in arguments, counseling, and potentially divorce because they neglect the critical step of becoming one. In some cases, the things we should discover, discuss, and resolve before dating, relationships, and engagements, create chaos in the marriage.
Consider a puzzle, a puzzle is incomplete until each piece is in the appropriate place. Connecting the smaller pieces forms the larger puzzle. If a piece of the puzzle is missing, the puzzle can never be complete. People should examine each piece of the relationship puzzle discussed in later articles and place it in the appropriate place to ensure all puzzle pieces will connect to the larger puzzle. In this process it will become clear that becoming one is not only an important step in the journey to find a husband or wife but also the most critical step we need to complete before engagement and marriage.
When you think of the Puzzle Principle do so with a jigsaw puzzle in mind. Two people who are dating, in a relationship, or engaged approach a table and each have separate puzzle pieces collected over the years––pieces formed by family, trauma, experiences, emotions, expectations, and much more. The couple place the puzzle pieces on the table, creating a large group of pieces. The Puzzle Principle is the process of determining the likelihood that individual puzzle pieces can join to create a complete puzzle (relationship). To connect the puzzle, the couple must engage in vulnerable, emotional, and difficult discussions.
The Puzzle Principle will guide people from their initial meeting, dating, relationship, engagement, and marriage as they undergo the process to get on one accord with each other on every issue. Being of one accord is different than agreeing on every issue, because it comprises agreement on the approach and solution to issues. This is possible, and it would be wise not to take it lightly; many relationships, engagements, and marriages end because people fail to discuss critical topics or issues and reach an agreement on a mutual approach to dealing with them. In many cases, the critical topics receive minimal attention,
and couples will not discuss the topics at the level required to determine if a person is a suitable candidate for marriage.
For example, a couple mutually agrees to eliminate debt before marriage, and the elimination must take place to make that puzzle piece fit. If the debt remains, and the couple moves forward, it is based on mutual consent that the elimination of debt is no longer a requirement to move forward, and the couple can put that piece in the puzzle.
-CLIFF HANGAR-
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